im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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