Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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