she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
