I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
