Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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