You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
