No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
