stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
