I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
