My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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