we have pet lesbian snakes
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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