Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
