Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
