Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
