Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
