get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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