My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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