im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
