yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
