"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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