i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
