K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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