everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
