Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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