But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
