Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize