dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize