we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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