Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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