No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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