White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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