Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
