Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
How naked do you want me to be?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
