Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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