May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
