This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
