I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
