I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
