I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
