we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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