So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
