I hate your face
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
