I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
