ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
