my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
