operation harelip BJ is a go
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize