i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
