yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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