I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
