Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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