we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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