Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Church boner. Awkwardddd
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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