I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
