that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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