Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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