I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
this will be a night to untag.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
