you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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