the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
