ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
