I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
