yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
