In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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