kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I supernannyed him into submission
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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