Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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