he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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