$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
